Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Insufferable Seth Midnight

Mori
Itsukishima
Hiroshima Prefecture
January 29

To Ojiisan, Obaasan, and Chihiro-basan:

It is quite possible that I have met the most insufferable man on the planet.

By now you know how much I've enjoyed working at Barbie's. Well, I was eagerly on my way there when I noticed a strange sight. The sign on the cafe door read 'Closed", which was a shock in itself, but there was also the fact that our chairs and tables were piled outside.

When the door opened, I came face to face with said insufferable man. I immediately demanded to know where Barbie-san and the others were and what he was doing to our cafe.

(At this point, I feel compelled to repeat our argument verbatim so that you may the kind of person I was dealing with.)

Seth: My name is Seth Midnight. The previous proprietor agreed to sell the building to me, so I've shut down the the establishment previously operating here. As to her whereabouts, it is of little significance to me so I didn't bother obtaining that information.

Midori: B-but this is where we work! This is what Barbie-san does for a living!

Seth: True, the owner was a bit discombobulated when I paid her cash for this space, but she seemed only too happy to take the money home.

Midori: I don't know where you're from but around here, those things just aren't done without proper notice.

Seth: May I point out that the fact that it has happened constitutes a possibility?

Midori: You can't just do that!

Seth: I think you have a severe problem accepting facts.

The man was infuriating! I stomped away. I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere.

Instead, I made sure I had the right ammuntion. I went home and researched ideal courses of action that would benefit all parties involved -- and if he wasn't satisfied with that, I also detailed legal actions that I would take for Barbie-san's sake. It took me all day and all night but the results were worth it.

But the building was locked when I visited it the next day. But did I let that stop me? Of course not. Chihiro-basan, I hope you know that there is an exception to every rule and Mr. Seth Midnight is one such exception. So I used everything you taught about lock-picking, broke in, and left my excellent paper on his desk. Believe me, that's ALL I DID! I certainly refused to touch anything else in that office.

You see, I was pretty sure that he would have just thrown my paper away if I had left it outside his door. I had to make sure that he read it, and of course, I wanted to get his attention.

That got his attention all right; he called me that evening and offered me a job.

I swear, he is the most irritating, impossible, -- confusing -- man that I have ever met.

Midori

2 comments:

Sachiko said...

Michan,

Shall I go visit and kick the crap out of that guy? I can bring the boys along. Seiji does Taekwondo while Junpei...well, I don't know what Junpei does but he can probably be of use. Just say the word.

Midori said...

Thank you, Sachiko-san! You don't know how glad I am to have someone by my side. I'm trying to deal with this man my own way but should he too much to handle, I shall gladly take you up on that offer!